Deadpool movie test footage with Ryan Reynolds.
This looks beyond perfect.
1. Your skin may never be perfect, and that’s okay.
2. Life is too short not to have the underwear, the coffee, and the haircut you want.
3. Everyone (including your family, your coworkers, and your best friend) will talk about you behind your back, and you’ll talk about them too. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other.
4. It’s okay to spend money on things that make you happy.
5. Sometimes without fault or reason, relationships deteriorate. It will happen when you’re six, it will happen when you’re sixty. That’s life.
|—||Five things I am trying very hard to accept (via peachringslushie)|
This is all the porn I will ever need
Girls need to stop wearing crop tops or I might have to resort to action by tickling them and blowing on their tummies bc they’re so darn cute
'Tell me what happens the first time you see a woman naked.'
'The first time you see a woman naked will not be like you imagined. There will be no love, no trust, no intimacy. You won’t even be in the same room as her.
You won’t get to smile as she undresses you and you undress her. You won’t get to calm her nerves with nerves of your own. You won’t get to kiss her, feeling her lips and the edge of her tongue. You won’t get to brush your fingers over the lace of her bra or count her ribs or feel her heartbeat.
The first time you see a woman naked you will be sitting in front of a computer screen watching someone play at intimacy and perform at sex. She will contort her body to please everyone in the room but her. You will watch this woman who is not a woman, pixelated and filtered and customized. She will come ready-made, like an order at a restaurant. The man on the screen will be bigger than you, rougher than you. He will teach you how to talk to her. He will teach you where to put your hands and he will teach you what you’re supposed to like. He will teach you to take what is yours.
You must unlearn this. You must unlearn this twisted sense of love. You must unlearn the definition of pleasure and intimacy you are being taught. Kill this idea of love, this idea of entitlement, this way of scarring one another.’
Midnight thoughts (I won’t do this again)
haha i always say i wont do this again… good joke(via lifeasahopelessromantic)
How am I going to tell them I lost my job.
I have a wife, and 3 children
no but seriously how cute is the word tummy
you can talk so seriously about stomachs
but as soon as someone drops the tummy word
everyone is like (●´∀｀●)
when people get angry at you for liking snakes
THAT IS THE CUTEST FUCKING SNAKE
did you hear about the italian chef who died?
he pasta way
he just ran out of thyme
here today, gone tomato
his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it
we never sausage a tragedy coming
ashes to ashes, crust to crust
there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world
omg i just realized
theyre called pancakes
because theyre like cakes
but you cook them
wait for it
in a pAN